100 Women and 100 Dreams Project: Mahreen and Rayaa’s Stories
This is the fifth installment in the series, read the first installment, Khorshid and Madinah’s Stories here, and the second installment, Leilah and Kulthoom’s stories here, the third installment, Hafsa and Gul-jan’s Stories here and the fourth installment, Iffat and Ahoo’s Stories here.
*The founders of the 100 Women 100 Dreams campaign have been nominated for a 2024 For Freedom Award by Freedom United
Based on current trends, by 2030 more than 342 million women and girls could be living extreme poverty according to the United Nations. A condition that for many girls around the world leads to forced marriage. Gender-responsive financing and increases in public spending on essential services and social protection must be prioritized to protect women and girls from forced marriage.
In addition, women and girls contribute significantly to the economy when working in the home. Women contribute around three times more time on unpaid care work than men. If these activities were assigned a monetary value, they would account for more than 40 per cent of GDP. Policymakers must value, recognize, and account for the vital contribution women make to economies worldwide through their paid and unpaid work.
Only by investing in women and championing gender equality can we create a future where everyone in society can thrive, creating a world of boundless opportunity and empowerment for all.
The Global Campaign for the Prevention of Child Marriage (GCPCM) is an ongoing awareness raising campaign that aims to help stop child marriage through education and storytelling. As part of the campaign,100 women from around the world who were forced to marry under the age of 18 were interviewed by volunteer community members. “Child marriage is a big problem for women and girls all over the world and it’s time for it to end.” stated Shahin Gavanji, an Iranian community leader and one of the founders of the campaign. GCPCM and Gavanji aim to help end this human rights violation by sharing the lived experiences of forced child marriage survivors.
Mahreen: Pakistan
Mahreen is a girl from Pakistan, she was married at 10 and was a mother by 12. She remembers before she was married, she had dreams of continuing her education and learning to read and write. But forced marriage put an end to those dreams. On that day Mahreen lost her freedom and her childhood.
This is Mahreen’s story.
“On a terrible day in 1974, when I was 5 years of age, I lost both of my parents in the earthquake in the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa (KP). After losing both my parents I had to move into my grandmother’s home where I lived until I was 10 years old. My grandmother was now the only person I had in my world, and I was very lonely. She was a very kind woman, and she worked hard just to earn a meager living for us. But she has prolonged back pain, and it was very difficult for her to work because of the pain. One day, she came to me crying and said, ‘My dearest granddaughter, I am very worried about your future since I am very old and I cannot work well, I may die, and I should do something for you to make sure you are safe’. No one knew or could help with my situation, my grandmother was the only person I had in my world, and she was sick.”
“One day after that, the neighbors came to our house and talked with my grandmother privately. After that they called me into the room and said smiling, ‘Mahreen you will have a guest tonight’, but when I looked at my grandmother, she burst into tears.”
“Next came that awful night when a family I had never met came to our house and changed my life. I was only 10 years old, and I had to marry a man who was 29 years old. I cried and asked my grandmother if I could please keep living with her. I didn’t want to go with this man who was a stranger to me. Due to her situation, my grandmother thought she was taking good care of me. But I was only a child, and I was forced to move into my husband’s house, the house of a stranger.”
“At my husband’s house I was constantly harassed and abused physically, sexually and mentally. My husband’s entire family lived in the house, and I was forced to do all the cleaning and cooking for everyone in my husband’s family. From the first day I was forced into marriage, I began asking if I could please see my grandmother. But my husband’s family would never allow me to see her. I cried and asked my husband to please end my torture and allow me to visit my grandmother again. But he just ignored my request, saying only ‘I am your father, mother and every person in your life now’.”
“Since I couldn’t see my grandmother, there was no one to turn to who would understand my difficult situation. My first baby was born two years after my marriage when I was 12 years old. I was never allowed to see my grandmother again. I was only allowed to attend her funeral after she had died.”
“I think that every girl should have the right to choose who, when and if she wants to marry or not marry. I hope this campaign (GCPCM) can help all girls in the world”
Rayaa: Iraq
Rayaa was a 13-year-old girl living in Iraq who dreamed of becoming an artist. It was a terrible shock for her when she heard that her family wanted her to be married to a man nearly twice her age. Rayaa was devastated by this news, but she felt unable to defend herself from the pressure of her family.
This is Rayaa’s story:
“I remember my childhood fondly and how I used to play and laugh with my friends. Although it wasn’t allowed, one of my favorite activities was riding my father’s bicycle. My father had an old bicycle, and every day I rode his bike around our small private yard. But my father did not want me to ride as we had a traditional family. Like many women in our country, I was not allowed to ride bicycles as it was taboo for girls and women in traditional families.”
“One day that year, I made a rebellious decision to ride the bicycle in the street. As I rode down the street, I felt free, like a butterfly or bird. Unfortunately, that special moment had severe consequences for my life. When I rode that bicycle into the street, I was the first girl in our neighborhood to ever publicly ride a bicycle. In addition, I didn’t wear a scarf when I was riding. Our neighbors and the people in our community were very angry about my behavior. They came knocking on our door, very upset, to talk with my father. They said I must be punished for my behavior, that I had done ‘an immoral action and did not obey the rules’.”
“When my father came into the house, he was enraged, the whole neighborhood could hear him screaming bloody murder at me. I hid myself under a table, I was very scared. My mother tried to help me, but he hit her severely with his Agal headband (Agal is an traditional Arab men’s clothing accessory). My mother’s screams were intolerable to me. Then, when my father saw me, he attacked me and hit me so severely with his Agal headband that I fainted.”
“I had to spend one week in the bed recovering as I couldn’t move. After a week my uncle came to our house and talked with my father. Together, they made a decision about my future. My father didn’t talk with me at all after the incident and wouldn’t look at me as he was still so upset.”
“Shortly after that my mother called me and told me ‘It’s time for you to marry, you are now a mature girl.’ They were forcing me to marry a 20-year-old man and to move to another city. I was so afraid, but I couldn’t do anything, I just cried and cried. On the wedding day I begged my mother to stop planning the wedding, but she refused. She said to stop asking that as if he heard, my father would kill me. She said that if I refused the marriage, if my father didn’t kill me, the family would throw me out. Because I rode a bicycle I was forced to marry at an age when I did not have the slightest idea of what marriage meant, my family destroyed my life.”
“When I was married, I had to move to another city, where my husband lived. I thought about my mom and my family, and it was very hard for me since I couldn’t see my parents or cry in my mother’s arms. Now every night I have the same nightmare. In my dream I am riding a bicycle, riding around in our small yard, but suddenly I fall into a big black hole. I think that the campaign (GCPCM) is a very big project, and I believe that ending child marriage won’t be easy, but it is possible if we work together. ”
According to Plan International, 12 million girls marry before the age of 18 each year. The reasons for this are complicated and range from gender inequalities and failure to enforce existing marriage laws to parents seeing marriage as a form of protection from violence for their daughters or a way to mitigate/alleviate grinding poverty. But contrary to ideas of protection, studies show that due to power imbalances, like Mahreen’s marriage at 10 to a man almost three times her age, girls who marry young are more likely to experience violence, abuse and forced sexual relations.
Allowing girls to go to school gives them more choices and opportunities, providing tools for them to not only play an active role in their communities but help break the cycle of poverty. The United Nations views child marriage as a human rights violation, removing a girl’s agency to make decisions about her own life and often robbing her of a life free of violence due to spousal abuse and frequent pregnancy and childbirth, resulting in higher-than-average maternal morbidity and mortality rates. GPCMC aims to raise awareness and illuminate people’s minds about the issue of child marriage by sharing the stories of women who experienced this trauma from around the world. GPCMC believes sharing the lived experiences of these survivors will act as a powerful tool to empower girls globally and help prevent child marriage in future.
To learn more or help with this campaign follow GCPCH on twitter: https://twitter.com/GCPCM2