“I was a doll in the middle of songs and laughter—laughter that was not mine, words of celebration that did not belong to me”, Shams Ali* recalls. At 13, she was forced into marriage with a man of 29. Even at that age, she was aware she was losing her rights. Her aunts, afraid to relive their own trauma, refused to help. Shams’s pleas fell on deaf ears. Her parents beat and threatened her with death.

Shams’s story echoes through Iraq today. Earlier this year, the country passed a new law that allows marriages for girls as young as nine. A loophole already allowed fathers to consent to marriages outside court. This new law risks forced child marriage becoming even more entrenched.

Love confused with survival

In the early days, Shams hated her husband. She hated the wedding dress, the makeup that ran with her tears, even her first kiss. She blamed her developed body, which looked older than her age. Yet, compared to the beatings and threats from her parents, he seemed merciful. He showed her gifts, affection, attention.

His affection blurred the lines. She began to believe what she felt was love, even when he denied her university education. But it was not. It was trauma, confusion, and survival. Writing for the Guardian, she shared:

When he left, I hated him. When my family turned cruel, I loved him. It was too much confusion for a girl my age.

After three and a half years, they separated because of disagreements between his family and hers. Once the bond dissolved, she was able to see clearly that what she thought was love was the exploitation of a young girl’s vulnerability and the law.

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